My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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