there was a trapeze. enough said
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
