Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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