Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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