some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I have peed in a lot of sinks
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
