Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she looked like the before picture.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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