i don't like sucking hair
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
