problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
