he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
