the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize