Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
