Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
