11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
More tranny stories later!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Randomize
