So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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