The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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