A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Randomize
