Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
