My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
