Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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