just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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