Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
