Can Purell be used as lube?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Randomize
