Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
