So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
