Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
