Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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