We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
