Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize