he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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