Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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