why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
