Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
