is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
