Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
