I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
