this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
