My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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