I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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