are you still at the devil's house?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
