I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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