Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize