I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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