I should be sponsored by Trojan
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
