nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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