like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
