The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do vagina's smell?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize