i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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