Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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