could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Your shirt... Was in my pants
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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