u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
