I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize