my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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