We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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