You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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