Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
