he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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