i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
