is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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