I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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